By Adriana Sommer da Costa
Psychologist and Sexologist
The premature ejaculation is anything but an orgasm in advance. Itís an orgasm, which has taken place precociously, hence its name. It may occur before, during, or even after sexual penetration.
With undesired ejaculation as main feature it occurs due to lack of control over sexual activity. As result, the premature ejaculation renders the individual unable to control his ejaculation.
Such impairment affects a great many part of the male population, reckoned as one of the major causes behind those sexual problems that drive so many men to consulting urologists and psychotherapists.
Itís known that its causes are from emotional nature in that consequence being physical. Obviously, there can be physical causes such as foreskin (augments topic sensitivity), hormonal unbalance, as well as pathologies (infections as urethritis and prostatis).
Letís concentrate on the emotional aspects of the precocious ejaculation.
The precocious ejaculation inflicts agonizing distress in men as frustration results. By facing a situation which renders them incapable of obtaining pleasure, inasmuch as restrict partners from time necessary to achieve pleasure.
All too often an individual stands oblivious to his sexual dysfunction neglecting such a lack of control over ejaculation. This is so because of the male nature of displaying prowess and virility in bed. Also to keep up his sexual - affective relation with partner. However such a male orientated behavior may well affect his partner who in turn might account him as unable of reaching orgasm. Itís a nuisance that annoys the couple. By frustrating man and woman, both wind up slackening off their sexual relation. It may disrupt their affective bonding if absence of dialogue and detachment over the issue occurs.
As outlined most of the causes have emotional sources, noticeably factors as in youngstersí relationships (turned anxious by inexperience), long last relationships (anxiety maybe triggered when longing for a new partner), and elderly who yearn for better sexual performance.
As we could see the anxiety factor embedded in all instances described above as plausible causes of the precocious ejaculation.
In our syllabus one encounters explanation for variables in premature ejaculationís pattern-ď Young men, by and large, learn how to delay orgasm by further sexual experience and growing old, yet some become capable of holding back ejaculation in long term relationships and liable to experience recurrence when with new partners Ē.
A lost in the capacity of holding back may occur shortly after a period of adequate functioning. It may happen as consequence of new conditions, for example anxiety build up from pressure on performing with a new partner, or even difficulty in having and sustaining erection. Also, it may occur amongst regular alcohol abusers, who relay in alcohol as an orgasm retarding aid.
Anyone dealing with premature ejaculation tends to display feelings of guilty, incompetence and shame. As time flies by, they would show signs of escapism, despair and anxiety, all of which result in restraint and detachment of sexual contact.
Regarded as illness, whose adequate treatment exists for each case, precocious ejaculation can be dealt with behavioral strategies, sexual therapies and techniques, or even medication. Treatment should start within the coupleís intimacy with open dialogue, as partnerís prompt to bring out awareness and encouragement for soul mate to seek out professional help. After discarding its physical causes, treatment is based on identifying and mastering those sensations preceding orgasm. Strategies would be put in place to prolong such time with the aim of achieving ejaculation in real time, as so wished. In treatment a partnerís constant presence is essential, since to overcome his difficulty her respect and understanding aid enormously.
Treatment requires focus on bodily sensations as in masturbation which calls for time expenditure, calm, suitable settings, and variation in pace of stimulation to take from there. Pause and restart stimulation, always trying to control ejaculation as if holding in urine. Repeat exercise once or twice before ejaculating.
There exist other techniques such as the Stop-Start (name speaks for itself) and Squeeze methods (consists of squeezing the gland before penetration). Precocious ejaculation is routine at Urologistís clinics with efficient medication available.
It takes confidence, dedication and focus. Itís fundamental that the physical and emotional receive treatment together as intimately connected.
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