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Home -> Sexologists opinion -> Shed Light on Masturbation and Sex Issues to the Kids

By Kelly Cristine Barbosa Cherulli
Psychologist and Sexologist

When the bottom line means sex a great many people out there find approach towards sex-related issues difficult. Sex issues whether simple or polemic when involving children raises the rate of difficulty tenfold.

Many parents have a hard time catching up with issues and attitudes regarding their kids’ sexuality.

Situation 1- Figure out a child age 4 or 5, roughly, that masturbates. The initial approach as of mother or responsible that catches her at it would by and large be condemnation. “It’s a sin”, “It’s naughty”, “It mustn’t” – and not a hint of convincingly explanation, “let go o­n it, it might hurt” among other features are the majority of parents’ response in face of such event.  

Situation 2- Now imagine a small child calling her mother to help her out o­n her hygiene. The mother after wiping the boy clean opens the kitchen basket to throw out the toilet paper. At which point the little boy sees, accidentally, a piece of toilet paper stained with menstrual blood. Alarmed asks his mother if that blood were hers, receiving in turn a negative response. Immediately she asks “whose blood is that”? The mother not knowing what to do replies that had done up her nose.

In both, the degree of difficulty for parents in confront to their kids’ sexuality, with disregard to whether liberal parenthood or not, it’s the same. In the first case, it’s wise to recall that the discovery of genitals partakes in o­ne’s psycho-sexual development. A child when grows aware of her sexual organs gets used to handle them, plays up with them. It’s such natural discovery.

Quite often the discovery of own genitals takes place at the same time as realization, better yet, become aware of the differences between the sexes- boys have penis, girls have vaginas. As sexuality has suffered interference ever from values of several societies throughout the times, masturbation became condemned as practice, mostly guilt-ridden. So the first reaction usually means prohibition and condemnation.

In the second case, the mother’s creative reaction may suffice the child’s for time being, up until some similar situation arises. To tell details of menstruation to a very little child may not be such good option after all for neither sides, due to the incapacity of comprehension. Concerning children, curious by nature, and as far as age-group is concerned, a response as such might turn out thought-provoking to the intelligence of your kid, plummeting any given response in discredit.

Depending o­n age, stimulation thus upbringing received, speak up o­n menstruation, responding her questioning in a natural simple manner, with short and direct answers, it’s the best solution. Important remark that our approach with bias towards sexuality in childhood, mainly regarding our own offspring, it’s directly related to the line of perception of our own sexuality

The more natural and sincere your son’s sexual education gets, the healthier would his sexual life be. Although there’s no such a thing as recipe, o­ne thing is right- it’s easier and convenient simply prohibit, blame. Harder is being sincere and educate.







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